How Coaching Can Help You Break Old Habits and Build Better Ones

Habits shape your life. How you work, lead, and interact with others is driven by patterns - some helpful, some holding you back.
Changing habits isn’t just about willpower. It’s about understanding what drives them and putting the proper support in place. That’s where coaching comes in.
A skilled coach helps you decode your habits. They work with you to uncover what’s keeping you stuck and guide you towards lasting change. With the right approach, you can break old cycles and replace them with habits that fuel your success.
Why Changing Habits Feels So Hard
Habits are automatic. Your brain loves efficiency and locks in behaviours that save time and effort. It's tough to shake even when a habit no longer serves you. That’s because habits aren’t just actions - they’re wired into your thinking, emotions, and environment.
Take a leader who struggles with delegation. They know they should trust their team more, but they take control every time a deadline looms. It’s not just a habit - it’s a response driven by deep-seated beliefs and past experiences. Without intervention, the cycle repeats.
How Coaching Helps You Break the Cycle
1. Understanding Your Triggers
Coaching helps you recognise the cues that lead to unwanted habits. Maybe it’s stress that causes you to micromanage or self-doubt that makes you procrastinate. Once you spot the trigger, you can disrupt the pattern.
2. Reframing Your Mindset
A coach helps you challenge limiting beliefs. That leader who struggles with delegation? They might believe, “If I don’t do it myself, it won’t be done right.” Through coaching, they reframe that thought into, “By trusting my team, I empower them to succeed.” That shift is powerful.
3. Creating Small, Sustainable Changes
Big changes rarely stick. Coaching focuses on small, manageable steps that build momentum. If you want to be a better listener, a coach might suggest setting a daily reminder to pause before responding. Tiny shifts lead to big transformations.
4. Accountability and Support
Change is easier when someone is in your corner. A coach keeps you focused, helps you navigate setbacks, and celebrates your wins. That encouragement makes all the difference.
Turning New Habits into Lasting Success
Coaching isn’t just about breaking bad habits - it’s about replacing them with ones that drive growth. The process is the same whether it’s improving communication, managing time, or building resilience. Identify. Reframe. Take action. Repeat.
Coaching could be the key if you’re ready to shift unhelpful habits and step into your full potential. Small changes today can lead to lasting success tomorrow. Are you ready to take the first step?
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Example in Action: A Coaching Script You Can Use Tomorrow
The Situation
You are under pressure.
A deadline is looming.
Your instinct is to jump in, take control, and do it yourself.
This is where habits usually win.
Step 1: Catch the Habit in Real Time
What you notice
Your body gives it away first.
Tight shoulders.
Shallow breathing.
A fast thought.
This will be quicker if I just do it.
That is your cue.
Not to act.
But to pause.
Use this exact phrase in your head:
This is a habit moment.
Nothing more.
No judgement.
Just awareness.
Step 2: Name the Trigger
Ask yourself one simple question:
What is driving this urge right now?
Pick the closest answer.
Stress.
Fear of missing the deadline.
Worry it will not be done “right”.
You are not fixing anything yet.
You are decoding it.
That alone breaks the autopilot.
Step 3: Reframe with One Coaching Question
Forget positive affirmations.
They rarely land under pressure.
Use this instead:
What is the smallest different response I can try right now?
Not the perfect response.
Not the brave response.
Just a different one.
Examples:
- Ask one question instead of giving an instruction
- Delay action by five minutes
- Let the team finish before stepping in
Step 4: Take One Tiny Action
Choose the lowest effort option.
You might say:
“Talk me through your thinking here.”
Or:
“What support would help you finish this?”
Then stop talking.
This is the hard part.
Sit with the discomfort.
Do not rescue.
Step 5: Lock the Learning In
After the moment passes, reflect for sixty seconds.
Ask yourself:
- What did I expect to happen?
- What actually happened?
- What does this tell me about my old belief?
This reflection is what turns a one off moment into a new habit.
Why This Actually Works
You are not trying to remove the habit.
You are interrupting it.
You are not forcing change.
You are practising choice.
That is how habits shift in real life.
Not through motivation.
Through repetition of small, intentional pauses.
Coaching Insight to Remember
You do not need more willpower.
You need better moments.
Moments where you pause.
Name what is happening.
Choose one small, different action.
Repeat that enough times and the habit loses its grip.
❓ FAQs About Coaching and Habit Change
- Why is changing habits so difficult even when I know they are not helping me?
Because habits are wired into your brain, emotions, and environment. Your mind craves efficiency, so it clings to familiar patterns even when they hold you back. - How does coaching help identify the root of unhelpful habits?
A coach helps you spot the triggers behind your behaviour, such as stress, self doubt, or pressure. Once you see the trigger clearly, you can interrupt the cycle. - Does coaching focus on big changes or small steps?
Small steps. Coaching prioritises manageable actions that build momentum over time, making change feel achievable and sustainable. - What role does accountability play in building better habits?
Accountability keeps you focused and supported. A coach helps you navigate setbacks, stay committed, and celebrate progress so new habits actually last.
How Coaching Can Help You Break Old Habits and Build Better Ones
Habits run on autopilot. That is why willpower alone rarely works. Coaching helps you decode the triggers, beliefs, and patterns keeping you stuck, then replace them with small, sustainable actions that actually stick. With the right support, tiny shifts today can ignite lasting change tomorrow.
Trayton Vance
Trayton Vance is the Founder and Managing Director of Coaching Focus Group, one of the UK’s leading leadership coaching consultancies working with clients such as McDonalds, Beats by Dre, Paramount and many more.
Coaching Focus Group
Specialists in leadership coaching, workplace coaching programmes, and building coaching cultures that stick.
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