The Person You Mean To Be - Dolly Chugh's

Because coaching is about becoming, not just doing. We all want to be good people. Fair. Kind. Inclusive.
But being a good person isn’t a destination. It’s a journey.

In her brilliant and refreshingly honest book The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, social psychologist Dolly Chugh challenges us to let go of the pressure to be perfect.

And instead, to be better.

For coaches, this book hits home.
It’s not just about understanding bias – it’s about how we respond when it shows up. In ourselves. In our clients. In the spaces we work in.

Let’s explore why this book belongs on every coach’s bookshelf.

The “good person” trap

Chugh invites us to shift from being a “good person” to becoming a “good-ish person” – someone who’s open to feedback, willing to grow, and brave enough to confront uncomfortable truths.

It’s a powerful mindset shift.

As coaches, we’re trained to create safe, reflective spaces. But if we’re clinging to a polished image of ourselves, we can’t fully show up with humility and authenticity.

Good-ish people ask:
“What did I miss?”
“Where might I be wrong?”
“How can I grow?”

That’s exactly what coaching is all about.

Why it matters in coaching

Coaching is human work.

It’s layered with lived experience, shaped by culture, identity, and perspective. And that means bias – conscious or not – can sneak into even the most well-meaning interactions.

Dolly Chugh’s work helps us notice that bias doesn’t make us bad. It makes us human.

But not noticing?
Not questioning?
That’s where harm happens.

By owning our “good-ishness”, we create room for more honest, inclusive, and impactful coaching conversations.

Big takeaways for coaches

1. Lean into discomfort

Bias work isn’t cosy. It brings up guilt, shame, and sometimes defensiveness. But discomfort is where growth lives. As a coach, you’re already skilled at sitting in that space – this book deepens that ability.

2. Model imperfection

Clients don’t need perfect coaches. They need real ones. Dolly reminds us that showing your learning journey can empower your clients to embrace theirs. It’s leadership through vulnerability.

3. Use “headwinds and tailwinds” thinking

Chugh explores how we often overlook the tailwinds that help us succeed – like privilege or systemic advantages – and focus too much on the headwinds we’ve faced. Bringing this lens into coaching can unlock powerful insights for clients.

4. Be an upstander, not just a bystander

Whether it’s in a team coaching session or a one-to-one, you may witness microaggressions or bias in action. This book gives you tools to speak up with courage and care – in a way that fosters awareness, not shame.

How it shapes your coaching presence

After reading The Person You Mean to Be, your coaching conversations might start to sound different:

• More curious.
• Less certain.
• More aware of language, context, and power dynamics.

You’ll ask braver questions.
You’ll pause more often.
You’ll hold space with deeper empathy.

Because you’ll know – in a grounded, confident way – that growth includes everyone, or it includes no one.

Final thoughts

Dolly Chugh doesn’t write for people who think they’ve figured it out.
She writes for people who want to figure it out.

As a coach, this book helps you become the person you mean to be.
And in turn, it helps your clients do the same.

Not perfectly.
But powerfully.

One conversation at a time.